My life seems to follow a rather similar pattern each year, strong in the first, weak on the second, medium half way through, and weak at the end. Although I prefer it to a 3/4 time of Strong-Weak-Weak, the pattern is getting repetitive.
Consciously trying to break the pattern doesn't seem to work, tried that, because it's a fail if one can't get it to work.
So I've decided to allow life to break the cycle for me....by trapping myself in by another set of 4.
*shakes fist impotently at the heavens* NOT feeling trapped would be nice for a change. But I think that's just the problem with my brain. I'm not paranoid, I don't think people are out to get me. I just feel...smothered easily I suppose.
I guess it's why relationships freak me out. I feel like it's a loss of control over my own life. Didn't help that some of my exes were extremely overbearing and made the words "trapped in a box for all eternity" a gross understatement. It's rather a conundrum. To be afraid of emotional attachment and yet tired of casual flings. I need a vacation. With a sexy man wench. Who'll spend the entire time rubbing my feet and fetching my drinks. That seems like a nice compromise.
On a brighter note, I did help someone's vengeance plan by suggestion utilizing the wrath of bullet ants. While that may sound strange, death by ants that shriek and jump down on you from trees to sting you....would be kind of hilarious to watch from a distance. By distance meaning behind 10 feet of solid steel reinforced concrete. Through a window made of 10 layers of bullet proof glass. With roving death squads of exterminators guarding the perimeter. 10 miles away from the site of said death. Watching through a telescope. With the jet on standby.
These are really creepy ants.
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