Little while ago, I posted about how much I like butterflies. Alas, I'm not ashamed to say, that I'm totally speciest when it comes to our insect friends. I like butterflies, but certain kinds of caterpillars freak me out to no end.
Silverfish? Like the one I just found in my museum? *GAG* Are hideous, skittery things that should be disposed of as quickly as possible.
Earwigs? *ALSO GAG* Found one in a pot of my conditioner. I must have left the lid slightly askew. $5 isn't worth picking out a dead earwig. Luckily the pot was almost empty. I don't think I even picked it up, I just swatted it straight into the garbage can.
Hornets and Wasps? I'm not afraid of, but they are evil. Pure evil. I bet if you magnified them, they've got little 666 tattoos, or upside down pentacles on them or something. Maybe the satanic goat.
Bees and I are pretty chill. I leave them alone, they leave me alone. Except the little ground nesting bees. They are also evil, though on a smaller scale. Like pre-natal Damien.
Ants are irritating, they occasionally bite/sting and if I had to contend with some of the types of ants that live in various parts of brazil and other rainforesty places (ants with names like the Bullet Ant, or an ant that grows up to an inch long, jumps out of the trees to land on you if you get too close and shrieks at you).
But my all time most terrifying insect is The Centipede. (Dunh Dunh DUHHHHHHH)
When I was 6, vacuuming the living room (still at the age where washing or vacuuming the floor made me feel like Cinderella and it was considered a fun thing), I peeked into this giant urn thing my mom used for large house plants, and there was this HUMONGOUS centipede crawling around in it. Naturally, I was slightly wary, it's the first recollection I have of seeing a bug like that.
So my dad says, "Well, don't worry, just suck it up in the vacuum." And like the trusting little girl I was, "Ok Daddy."
So I'm coming at this thing, with a giant vaccum in my hand, and it's skittering around being gross and creepy, and JUST as I manage to suck it up with the vacuum, my dad comes up from behind (with actually admirable timing looking back), grabs me around the sides and screams, "WATCH OUT FOR HIS TEETH!!!!!"
I dropped the vacuum, shrieking like a banshee, tore up to my room and wouldn't set foot on the floor for the rest of the day.
I laugh about that story ALL the time when people ask my why I'm such a baby when it comes to centipedes. But honestly, when I see one, or even glimpse one out of the corner of my eye streaking across the floor, I turn into the stereotypical 50's housewife in cartoons who jumps up on a chair screaming and tipy-toe dancing in hysterics.
I'll be such a bad example for my own kids some day. "Umm...Daddy? Why is Mommy screaming on top of the table?" "Well kids, Mommy has issues. Lets go get some ice cream."
Actually, hopefully my significant other will be nice enough to come save me by squishing said bug. Cuz seriously, I won't get off the table. It's a totally subconscious reaction.
And of course, I live in the country right now. VIVA LES INSECTES!
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